Ameliorations 1.0

It’s an absolute blessing from God to have any sort of friends. There are plenty of the garden variety, fair weather friends (probably more accurately term acquaintances), but I find it more of a blessing when you have those friends that will do whatever it is in there power to help you when you’re down and out (and sometimes even go beyond that). God chooses are family, but we, if we are following in God’s will, choose people to be our friends not for what we can do for them or they for us, but because we find something that connects them with us that sets them apart from everyone else. We cannot be friends with everyone, much as we might want to be, simply because we cannot devote to the entire world enough time to each individual that they would require from us as friends.

Over time our friends change as we grow older and mature. Our older friends get relegated to acquaintances, while our newer friends start to take more of our time as we get to know them better. Sometimes, we can even find someone with whom we connect on a level that goes much deeper than just friends. Those are our best friends. Most of us are lucky to ever find even one best friend. Those of us truly blessed find two best friends. One of those, hopefully, will become our spouse. The problem I’ve had in all my past relationships was that we weren’t best friends. Sure we said we loved each other and had a strong friendship, but we weren’t best friends. We weren’t willing to put aside those things that were keeping us apart and instead of drawing closer we faded away (sometimes very angrily). It didn’t help that God wasn’t in the relationship. He couldn’t be, really. Until recently I can’t really say I ever was Christian. I was a church-goer. I had a head knowledge of Christ and God. I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him and that’s what it’s all about. I didn’t know how to be a friend and partner at the same time because I wasn’t allowing God to be my friend and partner. I wasn’t allowing Him to show me how I needed to be.

Even now I’m having trouble with that. I think it’s a good thing that He has prevented me from entering into any relationships before I am ready. I still have so much to learn. Do I like being without someone that I can hope to be my spouse someday? Not at all, but there is a lesson to be learned here. I know God has already found a wife for me, someone who will compliment me in the ways I need to be complimented (and what I mean by complimented, is completed, has qualities that I don’t have but need). I just need to let God work in me and show me what it means to be a Godly spouse. I should be a Godly spouse in deed before I am one in name. I am, though, only human. I will continue to stumble and fall, but I will just have to keep on trusting in the Lord to help me up and show me back onto the straight and narrow. There are no stumbling blocks on the path to righteousness except what we ourselves put in our own paths.

Might I have friends without God? What about a spouse?

I hate to say it, but sure you can. People do it all the time. People also get divorced. Last night on WTVF News Channel 5 Nashville, TN, they were bragging about how much lower the divorce rate in Nashville was because of the slow economy. The biggest reason for the slow down? Not because people suddenly got a heart for reconciliation and repentance, although that would have been nice. It wasn’t because they had asked God to bless and heal their marriage. It wasn’t even because people were working things out on their own. It was because they couldn’t afford to get a divorce. In the intervening time it would have been nice if they had accepted Christ not only into their individual lives but asked him to come into their marriage. I’m sure some might have tried that. It would have been nice if they suddenly received a heart for reconciliation and repentance. I’m sure some even felt that they did and tried that, but as soon as the economy started getting better, the divorce rate went up (by the way, the divorce rate changed by less then a percent, by my estimate, seeing as how it only dropped by 200-300 divorces).

Without knowing a thing about their state reasons for divorce, I can tell you the number one reason why they got divorced: They weren’t best friends. Not with each other or with Christ. I’m blessed that God has kept me from marrying, especially when I was so close to doing it. It wasn’t just that I was with the wrong person. It was that I wasn’t with the right person. I didn’t have Christ in my life to intercede with God on my behalf. I didn’t have the friendship with Christ and God that is required of me and I am still working toward that, blessed as I am today, there is still more for me to learn to let go of.

I used to use t he term “friend” loosely. Now I aim to use it with more and more reservation. That doesn’t change the status of those I call friend now, not all of them anyway. There are some who really were acquaintances, and some who were friends. I just ask God to bless me with the discernment to know who my acquaintances are, who my friends are, and who my best friends are.

One day I’ll revisit this topic and perhaps than I’ll be able to tell you that I’ve found my second Earthly best friend. On that day a shout will go up to the Lord praising Him for what He has shown and given me on that day. From today on, I will be praising him at least once a day (if not more) for those friends I have that are truly friends. I will praise him for those who have been in my life, one way or another, because without them my eyes wouldn’t be open to certain realities.

Please pray with me, friends and acquaintances old and new, as I ask God for those blessings that will cause me to be a better man, to be a Godly man and a Godly spouse without a wife. Praise to you, Lord Jesus and God on high, for You are wise and mighty in all Your ways!

Technorati Tags: friends

Current Mood:  cheerful