Ameliorations 1.0

It’s an absolute blessing from God to have any sort of friends. There are plenty of the garden variety, fair weather friends (probably more accurately term acquaintances), but I find it more of a blessing when you have those friends that will do whatever it is in there power to help you when you’re down and out (and sometimes even go beyond that). God chooses are family, but we, if we are following in God’s will, choose people to be our friends not for what we can do for them or they for us, but because we find something that connects them with us that sets them apart from everyone else. We cannot be friends with everyone, much as we might want to be, simply because we cannot devote to the entire world enough time to each individual that they would require from us as friends.

Over time our friends change as we grow older and mature. Our older friends get relegated to acquaintances, while our newer friends start to take more of our time as we get to know them better. Sometimes, we can even find someone with whom we connect on a level that goes much deeper than just friends. Those are our best friends. Most of us are lucky to ever find even one best friend. Those of us truly blessed find two best friends. One of those, hopefully, will become our spouse. The problem I’ve had in all my past relationships was that we weren’t best friends. Sure we said we loved each other and had a strong friendship, but we weren’t best friends. We weren’t willing to put aside those things that were keeping us apart and instead of drawing closer we faded away (sometimes very angrily). It didn’t help that God wasn’t in the relationship. He couldn’t be, really. Until recently I can’t really say I ever was Christian. I was a church-goer. I had a head knowledge of Christ and God. I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him and that’s what it’s all about. I didn’t know how to be a friend and partner at the same time because I wasn’t allowing God to be my friend and partner. I wasn’t allowing Him to show me how I needed to be.

Even now I’m having trouble with that. I think it’s a good thing that He has prevented me from entering into any relationships before I am ready. I still have so much to learn. Do I like being without someone that I can hope to be my spouse someday? Not at all, but there is a lesson to be learned here. I know God has already found a wife for me, someone who will compliment me in the ways I need to be complimented (and what I mean by complimented, is completed, has qualities that I don’t have but need). I just need to let God work in me and show me what it means to be a Godly spouse. I should be a Godly spouse in deed before I am one in name. I am, though, only human. I will continue to stumble and fall, but I will just have to keep on trusting in the Lord to help me up and show me back onto the straight and narrow. There are no stumbling blocks on the path to righteousness except what we ourselves put in our own paths.

Might I have friends without God? What about a spouse?

I hate to say it, but sure you can. People do it all the time. People also get divorced. Last night on WTVF News Channel 5 Nashville, TN, they were bragging about how much lower the divorce rate in Nashville was because of the slow economy. The biggest reason for the slow down? Not because people suddenly got a heart for reconciliation and repentance, although that would have been nice. It wasn’t because they had asked God to bless and heal their marriage. It wasn’t even because people were working things out on their own. It was because they couldn’t afford to get a divorce. In the intervening time it would have been nice if they had accepted Christ not only into their individual lives but asked him to come into their marriage. I’m sure some might have tried that. It would have been nice if they suddenly received a heart for reconciliation and repentance. I’m sure some even felt that they did and tried that, but as soon as the economy started getting better, the divorce rate went up (by the way, the divorce rate changed by less then a percent, by my estimate, seeing as how it only dropped by 200-300 divorces).

Without knowing a thing about their state reasons for divorce, I can tell you the number one reason why they got divorced: They weren’t best friends. Not with each other or with Christ. I’m blessed that God has kept me from marrying, especially when I was so close to doing it. It wasn’t just that I was with the wrong person. It was that I wasn’t with the right person. I didn’t have Christ in my life to intercede with God on my behalf. I didn’t have the friendship with Christ and God that is required of me and I am still working toward that, blessed as I am today, there is still more for me to learn to let go of.

I used to use t he term “friend” loosely. Now I aim to use it with more and more reservation. That doesn’t change the status of those I call friend now, not all of them anyway. There are some who really were acquaintances, and some who were friends. I just ask God to bless me with the discernment to know who my acquaintances are, who my friends are, and who my best friends are.

One day I’ll revisit this topic and perhaps than I’ll be able to tell you that I’ve found my second Earthly best friend. On that day a shout will go up to the Lord praising Him for what He has shown and given me on that day. From today on, I will be praising him at least once a day (if not more) for those friends I have that are truly friends. I will praise him for those who have been in my life, one way or another, because without them my eyes wouldn’t be open to certain realities.

Please pray with me, friends and acquaintances old and new, as I ask God for those blessings that will cause me to be a better man, to be a Godly man and a Godly spouse without a wife. Praise to you, Lord Jesus and God on high, for You are wise and mighty in all Your ways!

Technorati Tags: friends

Current Mood:  cheerful

In the last ten minutes I just got off the phone with a lovely young woman I had intended to start seeing — despite my own misgivings about getting into any sort of relationships — before I moved away from Knoxville. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve felt like maybe things could get better, and that everything isn’t as gray as they were starting to seem. Right now it’s just good to have a friend to talk to who really and truly understands the sort of things I have to deal with in regards to bipolar disorder.

I was going to call my other buddies now that I’ve got a phone again, but I’ll call them tomorrow night. I’m rather tired and the cup of hot tea I’m drinking isn’t helping matters.

It’s good to know that I still have a social network, however tenous, nearly 200 miles away.

Well, one of my coworkers is just as much a geek as I am, and he has his own legally registered business (a Nevada LLC). We got to talking about geeky stuff, mostly computers and how there’s such a large amount of people in their area doing web design and computer building and repair and such. Then we got to talking about how he knows of wholesalers of parts and somehow we decided to look into actually going ahead with the two of us trying to open a business in town which did web design, case customization, and computer building/repair.

To start the process of he asked for me to go and check out where the lowest prices for parts could be found and to start thinking up of business proposals (I think that’s what he said, it was 3 o’clock in the morning and work had been going pretty crappy up until that point (not that it got better afterward mind you, but we didn’t know that it wouldn’t, which is not the point and therefore moot)).

So I’ve asked myself some questions and was wondering if those of you experienced in starting up your own businesses could add to the list of questions I should honestly ask myself — and answer — as I go through this process. Following are the three questions I’ve asked myself so far (and I feel I’ve honestly answered them but I won’t bore you with those answers until I feel I’ve exhausted every question that could be relevant).

• What Goal Do I Hope to Accomplish?
• How Do I Hope to Accomplish the Stated Goal?
• If I Were to Honestly Assess My Own Skills, Could I Meet the Above Stated Goals on My Own at Present?

If there are any other questions you think I should be asking myself, please let me know in the comments here. Your input would be greatly valued. Anyone, of course is welcome to put there 2-bits in, not just those self-employed.

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Now playing: Apocalyptica – Apocalyptica – Betrayal Forgiveness
via FoxyTunes

Technorati Tags: self, hope, money, work, friends, technology, business

Today I began looking for work. It’s not very promising, though. Of all the places we went, the most promising seemed to be a Waffle House that had all of one customer in it at around dinner time. I knew the local economy wasn’t the best before moving back in with my parents, but I can’t say that I imagined it being quite this bad. Heck, half the places we went to that we actually did get applications from were out of applications to give us (I went with two of my friends from the area). So I’ll keep on looking and keep on working at ways to make money on my blog without driving away those who really are interested in my content. That’s going to be a hard balance to keep.

Backing up a couple of months here, while I was working at Italian Market and Grill, one of my coworkers sold me a digital still camera and a mini-camcorder with digital and av outs for $60 a piece. I’ve been using the digital still camera (and it’s serial-port connector) to take pictures of my nephew. If I recall correctly, I’ve already posted a link to the Picassa Web gallery I have up featuring him. Well, since then the little guy has been getting into more mischief and more adorable poses (I swear, he does more of them, I’m just not good enough with this camera to capture them all, plus it only has capacity for 12 high quality pictures (not sure about the resolution, but from the size of the pics and the fact they are JPG compressed it can’t be great)).

Poor dog, good thing for us he’s always been so forgiven of the little guy. I really do think Black Labs (which is what Bukka is) have a natural affinity for kids and I’m not sure why. To be fair he was actually happily wagging his tail at the time the picture was taken. If I ever have kids, I will make sure that I have at least one pure bred black lab in the house to help look after the children. After watching Bukka not only taking such abuse but actively protecting him from people he didn’t know when he was younger, well lets just say I was blown away at the dedication this dog showed to my nephew.

On a completely different subject, some of the herbs that I planted back in February have really started coming along, I look forward to the other herbs starting to sprout any time now. I will be transplanting all of them to either regular round flower pots or those window box rectangular ones. I just don’t want to deal with the hassle of an in-ground garden, at least not yet. I’m not that motivated and I’m not sure I want to bother with protecting the roses from the Japanese beetles when they come mid-summer, especially since in this area the only way to control them is with the use of chemical traps and pesticides (which I doubly dislike because rose petals make a nice, edible garnish to any salad and because there is enough pesticides being used in this county).

Well that’s all I have to share right now. If you want to see more pictures, you can go to the Picassa web album I linked to in the previous post or you can browse here.

Technorati Tags: family, dylan, self, bitching, blog, money, work, friends, family, gardening

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Now playing: Ozzy Osbourne – Flying High Again
via FoxyTunes